The Empty Chair

Originally my idea was to do a piece on driving in the snow.  I had a title picked out and everything.

4WD4D - Four Wheel Drive For Dickheads

A Helpful Guide to Driving Amongst Assholes in the Snow of Upstate New York

That story may or may not still be under development but regardless I've decided to shelve it.

Instead I wanted to talk about the certain group of people who dread the upcoming holidays.  A huge reason that most give for not looking forward to Christmas is loss.  The thought of an empty chair around the dinner table can be depressing and draining and it's usually enough to make one want to sit home, alone, in silence.  Alas, we know there's no escaping it and we'll have to sit there with our usual crowd (minus one) and share a meal.  I can say from experience... the anticipation is the worst part.

So the title is now:

The Empty Chair

A Helpful Guide to Enjoying Christmas for Those Who Think it's Going to be Impossible

It's hard to go shopping for presents and see something that person would have liked, only to realize you have no reason to buy it now.  You smell their favorite cookies and when you close your eyes, their smiling face is there, full of crumbs.  They hated Christmas music but they always liked that one goofy song.  When it comes on the radio you smirk because for just a second, you can hear that person giggling and singing along next to you in the passenger seat.

I know I'm not alone here.  I know that others have experienced the simultaneous joy and sorrow of remembering someone.  Just thinking of them fills your entire body with a comforting warmth but also brings your eyes to high tide.  Sometimes having a memory is painful because you're essentially reliving a moment in your mind while consciously aware that it is gone.

At this point you are probably asking yourself...

"Are you going to get to the part about it not being impossible or should I just take the turkey out of the oven and replace it with my head?"

Please step away from the appliances and try to relax for minute.

It's not going to be impossible.   There's a pretty good chance that everyone seated at the dinner table has been thinking of that empty chair too.  The empty chair isn't even near the table, though.  It's not even a chair at all.  It's a state of mind.

Every Christmas is different than the last just as every day is different than the one before.  One thing that remains constant from year to year is the fact that people come together to share existence.  It's important to enjoy the company you have and to also remember that their Christmas has been different every year of their life.  You're all gathered under a roof to give appreciation to one another and remind yourselves of the joys of being alive.

So just trust me on this one, this year you may be missing someone but they'll exist in your conversation, your tears and most importantly, your laughter.  At the end of the day, the floor will be littered with shreds of wrapping paper and the house filled with mouth-watering aromas.  You will collapse, fully fed, on the couch, your mind littered with new memories to miss and your body filled with that comforting warmth.